ko wai au

Kia ora, Talofa! Welcome to my virtual home. I’m Leilani and tbh I’m a bit of a unicorn that doesn’t fit neatly into a box 🦄 🥰 I’m a poet and non-fiction writer who has also worked as a diplomat, policy director and manager. I’ve contributed writing to lots of books and magazines and journals, some of which are listed here and I’ve written two books of poetry (The Art of Excavation & Cultural Diplomacy). I also write regularly on substack, which you can check out here.

I teach an online poetry course called Miro Moana which can you find out more about here. And I work with individuals one-on-one as a personal leadership / strengths-based coach, which you can find out about here.

If you’d like to know a little bit more about what makes me tick, you can find out more by listening to this podcast interview I did with behavioural scientist Renee Jaine or this one with Andrew Fa’avale. And if you’d prefer to read rather than listen, you can also check out this interview I did with Sarah Daniell from the NZ Herald a few years ago:

12 Questions

You have a line about your father, in your new book of poetry, which begins: “I never really knew you yet, I knew you best”. What was your relationship like?

My childhood was happy, although not always easy. My parents separated when I was 2 and my mum’s parents played a huge role in my upbringing. My father represented New Zealand in rugby league. He had a gregarious, fun-loving personality and a brilliant mind. But he suffered from a compulsive gambling addiction. So my sister and I spent most of our childhood living between two worlds, the strict, “safe” world of my Samoan grandparents and mum, and the unpredictable, sometimes dangerous, world occupied by our Pakeha dad. In that world we were reckless TAB kids who hung out under the stands at Carlaw Park. But as I got older it became a place littered with disappointment. There were many broken promises. I remember being about 10 and feeling so angry at my dad for constantly letting us down. The no-shows were the worst. I would sit at the window of our house waiting for him, once from 10am to 5pm. I just didn’t get the fact that his addiction was an illness. I felt like he was putting the gambling before us. Years later I found out from his friends how he used to turn up to their homes on Sundays and beg to borrow $20 so he could put petrol in his car to take us out. I think it was hard for my mum, always trying to make up for the damage caused by dad’s addiction.

She was awesome though, she really weathered the storms and did everything she could to put us kids first. The thing that I’m most grateful to both of my parents for is instilling a strong sense of justice in us. Despite all his flaws, my dad was always the first to stand up for those in need and for what he believed was right, and my mum is exactly the same.

Was that your lowest point?

That was when my dad died when I was 17. He had a heart-attack while sitting in his car waiting for the lights on Mayoral Drive. When I got the news I was devastated. Despite all of the crap that my dad put us through, I loved him with all of my heart. Losing him is one of the hardest things I’ve had to come to terms with ” and still am. I don’t know that I pulled myself out of grieving, but I guess I just learnt to live with it. I try to make him proud by having the courage to stand up for what I believe in.

How has motherhood changed you?

When my daughter was five months old I was diagnosed with post-natal depression. Getting through that has made me stronger and much more conscious of the need to be kind to myself. Parenthood has also brought me closer to my mum. My respect for her has grown as I’ve experienced the challenges of being a mum.

What is your greatest strength? And failing?

My greatest strength is my unfailing commitment to rectifying injustice and being willing to voice my perspective in any forum. My biggest failing is sometimes I get so angry I speak up before I’ve had a chance to clearly organise my thoughts. What did my parents teach me? To always be brave enough to speak up if I believe something is wrong. To always be willing to give things a go. To respect my elders. To be kind to others. To love my sister. And to do my best, no matter what.

The full interview can be found here.

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Fa’afetai tele lava, I appreciate your support

Fa’afetai tele lava, I appreciate your support

Fa’afetai tele lava, I appreciate your support

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